Fake truths
by Em.Celle
Summary: "Is he not dead?" Lauren asked. "He's dead alright. He's also a cop." A story of how one stupid decision can change your whole life.
1. Chapter 1

_I probably should not have started this until I finished all others but it just wouldn't get out of my head and it's kind of a short story._

_Two maybe three chapters._

_I really don't know if people will like it but I HOPE you do._

_I think I should put a** trigger warning.** It's nothing much really but it's there and I'd hate to offend anyone in any way so, don't read if you're easily upset._

_Thanks in advance if you're going to read._

_I don't own lost girl._

* * *

><p>Lauren Lewis is smart.<p>

Not only is she just smart, she's _very_ smart.

She thinks everything she does through, multiple times. She thinks of every decision before she makes it and considers any and all outcomes.

She lives life the way people play chess; extremely carefully.

But Lauren Lewis is also human, and sometimes, sometimes she makes bad decisions.

Like the one to alight her bus home and walk the rest of the way to her flat.

Yeah, that wasn't so very smart of her.

But in her defense,she has had a pretty shitty day.

It all started with the wailing baby in the bus and the mother who couldn't keep her baby from wailing.

Or no, that's starting things at the very end. It actually started with her alarm clock going off thirty minutes late in the morning.

Wait, now that's starting things in the middle. If we're being accurate and honest, Lauren's bad day started _yesterday _when Nadia came home sobbing that her girlfriend had called things off between them.

Now, not that Lauren will ever admit it, not even under the threat of her brains being pumped full of lead, but she has had a crush on Nadia for months.

It's nothing big really, just a few sex dreams starring her and the curly haired brunette like three times a week and a constant need to run over any of Nadia's girlfriends, with a train, repeatedly.

Or maybe it is something big but, whatever.

Anyway, there was Nadia, all puffy eyed and depressed sobbing over Delphine? Stephine? Lauren never really bothered to know their names.

So, Lauren being the great roomy and friend that she is, suggested they go out for a few drinks to help Nadia forget her troubles.

(And maybe, just maybe, subconsciously she was hopping drunk Nadia would want to have rebound sex with her but again, whatever.)

Somewhere during the night and due to Lauren's utter inability to say no to Nadia, a few drinks turned into a whole lot of drinks and that obviously resulted in her and Nadia being completely trashed.

So trashed they couldn't even have had sex or remembered having sex if Nadia did want to have rebound sex.

What a waste.

Apparently though, what they did want to do, was mess with all the clocks and watches in the house, and that, is how Lauren ended up being late for class and later work, sexually frustrated and harboring the mother of all hangovers.

So, it will be understood that when the wailing baby in the bus started her wailing routine, and the baby's mother just stared at it, seemingly intent on doing nothing about it, Lauren opted to just walk home.

it had seemed like a great idea for all of the five seconds she had thought it through.

Plus judging by the fact that she had been in the bus for forty minutes and it normally took her an fifty minutes to get from school to home on the bus, she figured it wasn't that far, it would be easier to walk home in the nice silence the night offered than to stay on the bus and consider murder.

Turns out she had figured wrong.

...

It's darker and more silent than Lauren expected it to be.

Also, there's like almost no one on the streets and that scares her a little, safety in numbers and all that.

She tucks her hands in her coat pockets and searches her mind for ways to occupy herself on the way home, keep her mind too busy for it to think sinister thoughts.

Hormones.

Yes, naming hormones and their functions and where their produced is always interesting.

She decides to do it in alphabetical order. That way, she won't confuse herself.

_Adiponectin,Adrenocorticotropic..._

_..._

She's gone all the way to Calcitonin when she sees a figure standing a small distance in front of her.

She'd been so lost in her mind she hadn't even seen it before.

Or maybe it hadn't been there.

It looks like a figure of a person. A tall, maybe six feet,heavily built person.

She decreases her pace to almost a complete halt.

"Why you slowing down, pretty?"

A man, it's a man.

She turns around, ready to make a run for it if she has to.

"Walking away in the middle of a conversation?" The man is walking towards her, "how rude."

He sounds amused.

Her heart is beating widely, her brain is working on overdrive.

Too much blood and information is being pumped through her body at too fast a rate.

She feels like she's going to be sick.

"You can have all my money." she hears herself say, "you can have it all."

"Who said I wanted money?" He tries to sound offended but he still sounds more amused than anything,it's like this is some sort of game to him.

"Please." she holds her breath.

Something in her tells her not to beg, some of them get off from the begging, it makes it more fun for them.

Something else tells her that if she fights, if she runs, _then_ she'll make it more fun.

She doesn't know what information is right in this situation. she feels stuck.

"You can have everything I have, everything."

He chuckles when she says that, "there's only one thing I want from you, pretty."

She feels his hand coming up to touch her and she closes her eyes, hoping that something is going to happen to avert this.

Anything.

And as if by magic, as if by pure will alone she made it happen, she hears the unmistakable sound of gunshots.

The hand never touches her.

...

Five.

That's how many bullets Lauren counts before they stop.

When she doesn't hear anymore, she slowly raises from the floor when she had fell at some point and turns around to find a person, panting over the now obviously dead body and still pointing a gun at the man's head.

"Is he¬is he dead?"

She doesn't know if she's asking out of fear that he is or fear that he isn't probably a little of both.

The person kicks the lifeless body, "definitely."

It's a woman this time. That makes her feel a little safer.

Just a little.

She wants to go home. She wants to go home and take a bath and cuddle with Nadia and forget tonight ever happened.

Then it dawns her that she can't.

She just witnessed a murder and they'll be shitloads of questions to answer before she can ever see her bed.

Suddenly, she feels more angry than she's ever felt in her life, she cannot even explain why.

"Why did you kill him!"

She yells out.

"You're seriously not asking me that right now."

The woman says with little interest as she squats and searches the man's pockets.

Lauren sighs, she places her hand on her forehead and moves to support herself on the alley wall.

Her whole entire life has just gone to shit. One way or another.

"Fuck."

She hears the woman mumble.

"What? What is it? What's wrong?"

"Fuck, fuck fuck."

"What's wrong?" Lauren sounds frantic, "is he not dead?"

Wait, that's a good thing. Right?

"No," the woman stands up, "he's dead alright. He's also a cop."

What? No no no.

"I," she grabs her hair with both palms, "we'll say it was self defense."

Which it was, Lord knows what he was going to do to Lauren.

"Are you stupid, no one is going to believe that. He didn't even lay a finger on you and I'm the one who shot him, not you. I had no reason to defend myself against him."

"But, you were defending me. We'll say that, it's the truth."

"Defending a woman I have never met by shooting a police officer who hasn't even touched her,five times? Yeah, that's going to go down well."

Shit! She palms her face and took deep breaths.

Calm down, no use panicking now.

"What," she finally gets out, "what do you suggest we do then?"

"The woman places her gun and the cop's ID at the back of her jeans, "come help me move this body."

II

Accessory to murder. She is an accessory to murder.

Or is it accomplice?

It is probably accomplice, she helped move the body after all.

That reminds her, "I need to get more hand sanitizer."

She says throwing the now empty bottle of hand sanitizer away.

She has used the whole bottle and she still smells like a criminal, a murder.

"We can't stop,I told you that the last time you told me you needed sanitizer."

The woman says keeping her eyes on the road.

She's a brunette, Lauren's savior and partner in crime.

And not only does she take lives, she also takes people's cars from parking lots.

They're now ridding in a stolen car with a dead body in the boot.

Lauren can already see herself in prison.

Really.

"My hands smell like I just helped take someone's life."

Even to her own ears, her voice sounds dead, foreign.

She doesn't really know who she is right now, she couldn't tell you if you asked.

"Your hands smell like vanilla scented sanitizer. And you didn't kill anyone, you just helped carry the body to the boot."

The brunette who is oddly very much okay with everything that's happening says in a soft like voice.

Lauren leans her head on the car window, too exhausted in all ways a human being can be exhausted to form any kind of answer.

It doesn't matter to her what sort of hand she had in the whole thing anyway, she still had some sort of hand and that's enough to make her whole body feel numb.

Except for her stomach which just feels sick

...

They stop at some shifty looking neighborhood, even shiftier than the one where Lauren's life just went to utter shit and that one was pretty shifty to begin with.

"There's someone here who will help us, okay?" the brunette explains doing that thing where her voice is soft but not really.

Lauren just stares at nothing with her head leaning on the window.

She hears the woman sigh, "I'm gonna need you not to ask any questions and do exactly as your told."

She doesn't ask if it's okay with Lauren this time.

The blonde doesn't care.

...

They knock on the door for a good ten minutes before a man who looks like he goes to the gym at all hours of the day judging by his abs opens.

He looks sleepy and like he doesn't want anyone at his door at that time of the night.

Not that Lauren can blame him, it must be what, two? three?

"What do you want, Bo?" He asks rubbing his eyes.

"Is Kenzi home? I kinda need to talk to her."

Lauren glances back at the car when the two of them are having a staring contest.

She finds herself stuck somewhere between wanting the boot to move and dreading if it ever does.

She also thinks the emotional exhaustion and overload of fear are well on their way to giving her some sort of mental breakdown.

"And who's this?" the man finally asks motioning at Lauren.

"Someone who needs Kenzie's help."

The woman says and Lauren hopes this Kenzi is some sort of time traveler or a psychiatrist. Or better yet, she has a shit tone of sleeping pills that she can let Lauren lose on.

That's the only kind of help she needs.

...

Kenzi, it turns out, isn't a psychiatrist_ or_ a time traveler.

What she is is tiny and capable of uttering about ten thousand sentences in a span of a few minutes while drinking more alcohol than is healthy for someone of her size.

Lauren is strangely fascinated by her.

"I swear to god Bo Bo when you decide to fuck things up you leave no holes pending."

She says as she drinks what must be her fifth can of Smirnoff. Yes, Lauren has been counting.

Bo sighs, "I don't need a lecture Kenz, I need to disappear.

Huh? What? Is this woman, Bo, going to vanish and leave her to deal with this mess?

"And what about the body? Hmm? What am I to do with that? Sell it to my buddies the cannibals?"

"You have cannibal friends?" Lauren finds herself asking.

Kenzie snaps her eyes to her as if she was seeing her for the first time, "who the hell is this?"

"It's not important," Bo says. Something in her voice sounds vaguely protective.

"Uh, if you want me to pull your ass out of the shit you put yourself into then yeah, it is important."

"She's the woman he was going to..he was going to hurt her when I shot him, okay? Now are you going to help us or not."

The tiny woman looks at Lauren strangely.

Lauren doesn't care, the woman has cannibal friends, she really isn't in a person to judge anyone at this point.

"Twenty grand," she says finally, "Bring it to me by eleven tomorrow. Not a second later."

"What about the body?" Bo asks, Kenzi sighs, "leave it out there. I'll have it taken care of tomorrow."

III

Lauren doesn't know where they're walking to.

They're just walking.

Apparently when Kenzi said to leave the body, she meant leave the car too.

And Bo cannot steal another car. Not in this neighborhood, unless she wants to get shot.

which she doesn't. So they're walking.

Lauren finds herself walking close to the brunette. In all the mess her mind is going through at the moment, some part of it has managed to form some sort of connection to the brunette.

She finds that she trusts a little.

And that little is more than she thinks she can trust anyone else at this moment, even herself.

With all the shit that's gone down in the past few hours, she feels like Bo is the only person who's ever going to understand her now.

"Where are we going?"

She asks to make conversation. She doesn't like silence anymore and she needs to feel something other than numb or utterly confused.

"To a friend's place."

Bo says shortly.

She seems to be calculating things in her head.

"You have lots of friends." Lauren comments.

Bo shoots her a look she can't decipher then she shrugs, "not really."

She feels the brunette move a little closer and she thinks that maybe, just maybe, through all this she's the only person that Bo trusts a little too.

...

The friend turns out to be a short wise looking man who looks at Bo like she's more trouble than she's worth.

The brunette and him go aside to talk while Lauren is left to wonder about her life.

Her mind drifts to Nadia and she's surprised to find that she had completely forgotten about her. Then thinking of Nadia makes her think about her phone and why it has not rang.

She checks it and finds that it's dead, no wonder Nadia hasn't contacted her.

it's just as well, she wouldn't know what to say to her anyway.

"It's just for the night,Trick. I promise" she hears Bo say to the retreating man and when the brunette turns to her she offers her a smile.

It's not a very good or very dazzling one, but it's all Lauren has to offer at the moment and Bo seems to know it too, "I hope you don't mind sleeping on the floor.

...

She tries to sleep through the uncomfortableness and cold of the floor but she can't.

So she gives up and just stares at the ceiling.

Some part of her knows that she's scared when she closes her eyes she's going to have nightmares. Another part of her knows that she shouldn't entertain this line of thought because it's going to make her think over the events that took place tonight and she's not ready for that.

Not just yet.

"You could have just left me you know,"she says when she notices that Bo isn't asleep either and to keep herself away from her thoughts.

"I know." The brunette immediately understands what Lauren means, it makes the blond smile a tiny bit.

"So why didn't you?"

Bo turns and lies on her side, "did you want me to? It's not too late."

Lauren thinks back on the events on the night and she thinks if she's ever going to be comfortable living with such a secret.

She shakes her head, "no. I don't want you to."

...

She wakes up in the morning, tired and harboring a headache that she had somehow ignored yesterday.

She sits up and rubs sleep from her eyes, she doesn't even know when she managed to go to sleep.

"Hey." Bo evidently got up earlier. She even went out and got them coffee.

Lauren stretches and takes the offered cup gratefully.

Here, in the light of day, the brunette looks a little different.

Less haunted, more optimistic.

"Thank you." Lauren says after taking a sip. Bo offers her a smile, it's not as weak as yesterdays.

"So," she sits down, "I only have five grand on me and we need twenty by eleven. any ideas?"

"I have twenty thousand."

Bo's face is blank, "think you could get it?"

"Yeah. I just need a ride to the bank."

...

Bo steals the old man's car when they leave.

She tells Lauren she borrowed it but Lauren Lewis is anything but stupid.

When someone loans you a car they give you it's keys, they don't let you hot wire it.

She's tired though and she isn't in the mood for arguments.

She still hasn't gotten this putting everything she doesn't want to deal with in a box and shoving them to the back of her mind thing down yet.

She needs to work on it.

Images of last night's events keep coming to her and they're making her feel dizzy and a little sick.

What if that man had a family? What if they're looking for him right now?

"Are you sure you're up for this?"

Bo asks making Lauren notice that they've stopped in front of her bank.

She smiles although she's sure it isn't convincing, "of course. I won't be long."

...

It takes a little longer than expected and when Lauren comes out, sweating and in need of taking a pee really bad, she finds Bo looking no better.

The brunette's face sags with relief when sh sees her.

For a second, Lauren thinks she's going to hug her.

She doesn't though and Lauren is thankful, she's pretty sure is someone as much as touches her right now she's going to pee.

Honest.

"Did you get it?" Bo asks anxiously.

"It's all here."

Lauren raises the envelope, Bo speeds off.

...

The other car, the one Bo stole last night, it's gone by the time Bo and Lauren show up at Kenzi's.

Lauren doesn't know how to feel about that, on one hand it feels like a weight has been lifted off, on another it makes everything a thousand times more real.

She's a criminal.

Not a med student.

A bloody criminal.

"Are you sure about this?" Bo asks noticing her conflict.

She isn't sure about anything. But going away or staying here, neither of the options is going to erase what she's become a part of.

But at least one of them is going to give her the illusion that it has erased it.

"I want to do this, with you." She looks at Bo in the eyes while saying this.

The brunette nods and they get out of the car together.

..

"Do not stop for anything." Kenzi says as she hands them all the necessary documents they'll need to start a new life.

Passports, birth certificates, the whole thing.

"It's a cabin, at the woods, it'll be just the two of you. Later I'm certain everything's been sorted out I'll tell you and you can decide what to do from then on. But until then, lay low."

Bo nods and hugs the other brunette, "thank you, Kenz. Thanks so much.

Kenzi looks like she's about to cry when she pulls away, she glares at Lauren who's just standing there, waiting for their time to leave.

"Take care of her, okay?"

Lauren looks startled.

She's never had to take care of anyone in all the twenty two years she's been alive.

It feels like a huge responsibility.

she feels Bo's hand slide into her's; it feels soft and warm and safe.

"We're gonna take care of each other."

Bo seems to be addressing her more than Kenzi.

She finds herself nodding, taking care of each other doesn't sound so bad.

IV

"Can we stop, please. I need to pee."

Lauren requests after seven hours of driving.

"You know we can only stop when it's dark."

"Yes, but my bladder doesn't. Please, I won't be a minute."

Bo sighs and parks by the side of the road.

Lauren rushes out of the car, does her business, then rushes back.

Bo glares at her but Lauren is feeling too relieved at the moment to care, "no more stops." She says.

"Unless I have to pee."

"You'll pee in a bottle."

Lauren wrinkles her nose, "that's disgusting and highly unhygienic."

Bo laughs then suddenly stops, "fuck."

Lauren's heart beats widely in her chest, she looks around, have they been found even before they managed to get away.

"What?"

"I have to pee."

Bo says sheepishly.

A laugh erupts from somewhere at the core of Lauren's being and it's apparently contagious because Bo laughs too.

If is what their lives are going to be like the maybe it's not going to be so bad.


	2. Chapter 2

I

If ever asked to describe her days in the cabin, not that she thinks anyone will ever ask, but if ever anyone did ask, Lauren would say they fell into two categories.

The nice days and the numb days.

Some nice days are nicer than others.

Like the day she and Bo went fishing in the river and Lauren was the one who surprisingly caught a fish.

"_It's a fish! A fish that I caught!"_

She had yelled in pure glee.

Bo had laughed and cleaned the fish then given it to the blond to cook since she was wholly inept in all matters that involved cooking.

Lauren had prepared that fish with care like she had done no other.

The ate it in complete relish.

That was a really, really nice day.

...

Other days aren't really, really nice, but they were nice nonetheless.

Very nice in fact.

The day she cooked the first vegetables from their little garden, for example.

She had started the garden a day after arriving at the cabin.

Her nights were plagued by nightmares and her days were full of thoughts concerning said nightmares.

She needed a distraction.

So when she came across some seeds, it was the perfect solution.

She spent most of the time she wasn't cleaning the house tending her garden.

Bo helped, at first the brunette had been clumsy with the way she handled the soil, there was no gentleness about her and Lauren feared nothing could grow from her hands.

She'd thought of telling Bo not to help, she could do it herself.

But then it occurred to her that maybe Bo too, just like her, needed an escape.

So instead she had taken the brunette's palm in her hand and taught her how it's done.

She showed her how to be gentle with the soil and the seeds.

"_It's called tending for a reason. You have to be tender when doing it."_

The brunette had learned well and together they had made their little garden.

they spent hours tending to it and sometimes during those hours, they revealed a little of themselves to each other.

Became less of strangers and more of people who only had each other left in the world.

"_Anne. That's my middle name. Isabel Anne Dennis. I was named after my grandmother."_

_"Elizabeth. I wasn't really named after anyone. My father just liked the name so he gave it to me."_

_"Lauren Elizabeth..?"_

_"Lewis. Lauren Elizabeth Lewis."_

By the time the first sprout showed Bo had learned that Lauren grew up in a small town, had been studying to become a doctor before her entire life went to shit and that she knew more about stars than it was possible for a single human being to know.

Lauren in turn knew that Bo was born in Toronto,loved grey more than any other color, she honest to God believed that zombies will one day take over and she would hate every single bite of the vegetables that they harvested from their garden.

_"You cannot not eat them."_

Lauren had chastised while holding back a chuckle as Bo wrinkled her nose at the sight of the spinach in her plate.

_"But I hate vegetables. I told you that."_

_"These aren't just vegetables though, they're vegetables that we grew ourselves."_

_"Still¬"_

_"Bo..please, for me?"  
><em>

_"Fine."_

The brunette ate everything on her plate.

...

Other times, like in the evenings when Lauren reads The good Earth out loud to Bo and watches as the brunette gets lost in the story, in her voice.

Or the nights when they sit out on the front porch, not saying anything. Each of them lost in their own little words.

Lauren thinking of medicine and Nadia and wondering, though fleetingly, if she misses her.

These times are simply nice.

Lauren loves that Bo isn't afraid of silence.

That she doesn't have a need to fill each minute with words.

Sometimes they don't stay silent though.

Sometimes Lauren tells Bo about the stars.

How they're formed, why they look so tiny.

She teaches her the star song and shows her Orion and Big dipper and they spend hours tracing images in the sky.

A moose.

A cow.

A bunny throwing a sword.

Bo even swears she sees a woman cooking.

Lauren cannot see it, but she indulges her by looking as keenly as she can.

They do this till it's too chilly to keep it up then they go inside.

They say their good nights and as they head to their respective rooms, Lauren hears Bo hum the star song to herself and she chuckles a bit.

She really likes the simply nice days.

II

The numb days, as expected, are unbearable.

They announce their coming days before the actual arrival so they can suck the life out of all other days.

"Winter is approaching."

Lauren observes one night when they're outside, sitting in agreeable silence.

"I'll have to go to town and get some stuff."

It's not a question, Lauren doesn't give an answer.

...

On the day Bo is to leave for town Lauren is restless on the outside, scared shitless in her head and absolutely dead on the inside.

She makes breakfast because she has to.

She drinks coffee because she always does.

She busies herself with cleaning and doesn't tell Bo goodbye when she quietly leaves the cabin.

...

She keeps busy every way she knows how to keep her mind distracted.

The war she wages on germs in the cabin is one to be written about.

Any available surface, she cleans.

Not just cleans, cleans _thoroughly._

She does the dishes four times before she's convinced they're clean enough and then because she has nothing to do with her hands and she tends to bite her fingers when she's nervous, a habit she detests, she decides to clean them again just to keep her hands busy.

She sweeps, then sweeps, then sweeps another time because why the hell not.

Then she proceeds to attack the unreachable cobwebs.

By the time she's done with everything, thirty minutes have passed since Bo left.

She suppresses the urge to scream by sheer will.

...

She sits out on the porch and pretends to read.

But her eyes can only see the words in the book in front of her dancing as her mind runs a mile a second.

Like it always does.

She wonders if Bo will ever come back.

She hopes she hasn't run into any kind of trouble.

She prays to a god that she has never believed in that she hasn't taken off and left her here alone.

God, what would she do here, all by herself?

Probably die of loneliness.

Or drive herself to insanity by asking herself questions.

She chides herself, these silly thoughts are of no use to her.

Bo is fine and she isn't going to run away.

She will come back.

And soon.

She will.

She has to.

...

She's half crazy with nerves when she hears footsteps approach.

She doesn't look up at first.

Maybe it's the police.

Maybe they have Bo and now they're here for her.

Maybe¬

"you're reading without me?"

It's Bo.

God, it's Bo.

She doesn't even know how the book drops from her hands or how she reaches the brunette.

All she knows is Bo is here.

Safe.

She has her arms around her, hugging her tight and that's proof enough.

Bo chuckles dropping the bags she was carrying, "I was only gone for two hours."

But even as she says this, her arms come around Lauren and she hugs her back just as tightly.

III

Bo is allergic to some fish.

the don't know which ones and no matter how hard Lauren tries to keep tabs of her reactions so she can tell which fish are a no go zone, she can't pin it down.

This is mainly because sometimes a fish that did not affect her when she ate it the first time does so when she eats it the second or third time.

Lauren thinks their safest bet is to keep away from fish.

Bo says that will never happen.

Not given how well Lauren fries them.

"I can brave a tiny fever and a little nausea. It's nothing really."

She says carelessly.

Lauren argues and tries to change her mind but when it comes to fish, Bo is insanely stubborn.

...

When she wakes up on a normal looking winter day and finds Bo still hasn't woken up, she immediately knows the fish they had last night was the wrong kind.

Bo wakes up early every morning.

She absolutely hates it but Lauren loves the smell of winter and she loves having coffee while just smelling the air and Bo likes keeping her company.

Lauren once told her she doesn't have to, but she said she wanted to. That she liked doing it.

So it became something they did together, sipped coffee and watched winter go by.

Except on the days when Bo was suffering from her allergies then Lauren did it alone.

Usually Bo would be up three or four hours later, exhausted looking but fine.

Lauren would make her coffee and eggs because she liked those and she'd tell her how the morning was.

Not today though.

Five hours after she had missed their morning ritual Bo still isn't up and Lauren is getting worried.

She makes a fresh cup of coffee and goes to the brunettes room.

Entering after her knock gets a weak "come in."

Lying on her bed, Bo looks worse than Lauren has ever seen her and her mind tries to recall exactly what fish it was that they ate.

They're definitely never having it again.

"I brought coffee."

She announces needlessly.

The brunette gives her a barely there smile and sits up with effort, "thanks. My head hurts like a bitch." She winces.

Lauren feels sorry for her. She also hopes that now Bo will keep as far away from fish as possible.

Bo takes a sip of her coffee and closes her eyes, "this is great."

"I wanted to make eggs too but I don't know if you're in the mood for some."

"Not now." she sips her coffee again, "I'm sorry I missed our ritual this morning."

Lauren smiles warmly.

Sometimes, she doesn't think Bo knows how sweet she can be without even trying.

"It's okay. You just concentrate on feeling better."

She looks around Bo's room.

Just like her's, it's mostly empty, they don't really have things to hang on the walls.

To make the place feel like home.

Her eyes train back to Bo who's looking at her rather oddly.

"What?" She feels self conscious.

Bo looks away, some color coming to her cheeks, "nothing. Just uh¬ thanks. For the coffee."

Lauren doesn't believe for a second that that's what's on Bo's mind but she lets it slide with a smile, "you're welcome."

...

She leaves Bo's room in order to do the dishes and fix lunch and when she comes back a mere hour later, the brunette's fever has skyrocketed.

She's hot, she looks pale, she's shivering, she's sweating and Lauren has to talk herself out of panicking.

Bo needs her.

The brunette has been strong for both of them form the beginning of this whole fiasco and now she needs Lauren to be strong for her.

She can do this.

She had started reading medical journals when she was seven, of course she can do this.

Okay.

So fever that's a good sign.

Her immune system is working against whatever is ailing her.

Now to figure out exactly _what _is ailing her.

Shivering, fever, sweating, nausea...fuck!

"Bo," she called softly.

The brunette slowly opened her eyes.

"Do you feel any pain in your joints? Knees, shoulders. Any joints."

"A little."

Fuck!

She has to see a doctor.

"I have to take you hospital, Bo."

"No. No hospitals."

Even when sick she's frustratingly stubborn.

"Bo, you have malaria and it won't go away without proper treatment. We need to get you to a doctor."

"We can't risk that."

"I have to. You're life depends on it."

"No, Lauren. I won't put you in danger like that. No hospitals."

"Bo! This is serious."

"So am I. I'm not moving from this bed."

...

Lauren keeps a calm face in front of Bo who is enraging and scaring the shit out of her but inside she feels like a caged animal.

She feels trapped.

Bo will not tell her where the car keys are and it's not like she can carry the brunette on her back till she finds a hospital.

Who knows how far one will be.

Although in all her panic she's actually considering this.

In all seriousness, she is.

It's a bad plan, it's a depressingly stupid plan, but unless Bo stops being a hard headed idiot and just gives her the car keys, it's the only plan she has.

Maybe she'll get a ride on the road.

Human beings can be surprisingly compassionate creatures.

What will she do for money though?

God!

...

"Bo where's our money."

"We don't have any."

She's getting weaker and weaker.

"Of course we do. We had five grand when we came here and I'm certain we haven't spent it all."

"We don't have money, Lauren."

She sounds exhausted.

"Bo please." she's not above begging at this stage, "I need to get you to hospital and under medication as soon as possible. Please."

"Not if puts you at risk. I'm sorry Lauren but I won't do that."

"So what," she's angry now, "you'd rather die than put me at risk? Is that what you're saying."

Bo doesn't respond.

Lauren has never heard a clearer yes in her life.

...

It's getting dark, Bo is getting worse and Lauren is learning just what it means to be desperate.

She cannot carry the brunette to the road.

It'll be dark before they get there.

But maybe if she goes down to the road and finds help.

There must be someone who can help her.

"I'm gonna go find help."

She tells Bo softly.

Begging her with everything she has to be okay until she returns.

"I'll be back as soon as I can, I promise."

_Just be okay till I come back. Please be okay._...

She hasn't even run that far from the cabin when she sees it.

It's honestly like seeing a miracle flower.

She takes seconds to confirm that it's what she thinks it is then she runs back inside for a knife.

She cuts a leaf, rushes back inside and pours as much of the juice as she can into a cup.

It smells nasty.

She's never loved a smell more.

...

"Lauren?" Bo calls feebly when Lauren walks in.

"It's me. Drink this."

"What is it?"

"Medicine."

Lauren says feeling like she could burst from happiness and relief and hope.

Bo sits up slowly and takes the cup with trembling hands.

She winces from the smell alone and looks like she'll cry after the first sip.

"God, what is this stuff?"

"Aloe Vera. And you have to drink every drop of it."

...

Lauren stays with Bo as the effects of the plant start taking toll on her body.

She wipes her with a wet cloth as she sweats and holds her hand as she trembles so hard Lauren can hear her teeth chatter.

She tells her things about herself to keep her awake until she's sure she'll be fine because she's afraid of what will happen when she closes her eyes.

"The town next to mine, Bull Creek, used to have these annual picnics. Ordinarily the people from my town hated Creekers with a passion. Even if they were relatives. Bull Creek had the only elementary school around and some people preferred to home school their children till middle school rather than send them there. But no one ever had any qualms about attending Creeks annual basket picnic. Everyone would carry their own basket then give it to the chairman of the picnic committee who then auctioned them off to the highest bidder. Some people got back their baskets, others got foreign food and others got food poisoning."

Bo gives a little laugh at that and it's then that Lauren realizes the trembling is all but gone, along with the fever.

"Did you ever get food poisoning?"

She asks in a tired sounding but not sickly voice.

Lauren laughs for more than one reason, "no. My mother always made sure that we got our basket back. Mrs. Kenny, our neighbor,_she_ got food poisoning. My dad saved her life. It is then that I decided that when I grow up, I'm gonna be a doctor. I'm going to save life."

"And you did," Bo squeezes her hand with the little strength she has, "you saved mine."

IV

It takes a while, a lot of Aloe Vera and a whole fucking lot of sugar for Bo to fully regain her strength but by December, she's back to her old self.

Drinking coffee in the morning with Lauren and watching stars together in the evening too.

Lauren values this moments now more than she ever did before.

...

Christmas is just around the corner.

Lauren doesn't know what to expect from it.

She's never been big on Christmas.

Not since she had left her home at seventeen for the big city and never looked back.

She didn't know if Bo valued the holiday much or at all even.

She didn't know how to ask.

What if she did?

What if she expected a present?

She couldn't risk going to town, especially now that there were so many people coming for the holidays.

Maybe she should make her something.

Hand made gifts are always a good way to go.

...

Bo is the one who suggests they cut a tree and use it as a Christmas tree.

"A Christmas tree? What on earth will we decorate it with?"

Lauren asks, they're like flat on their backs, watching the stars.

"We'll find something. I just...I want this to be special. It's my first holiday with you."

The way Bo said it, she made it sound like it was the most important thing in the world.

It also made Lauren's heart beat so wildly that she thought it would stop all together.

...

They find a tiny tree and they both sneak to town together at night and buy decorations at ridiculous prizes.

Bo also gets chocolate for Lauren.

The white kind that she absolutely adores and hasn't had for the longest time.

"For your sweet tooth."

She tells Lauren when handing it to her.

...

It starts snowing in the morning of the twentieth and they see the first snowfall.

Lauren runs to it and opens her mouth to taste it.

She used to do this all the time when she was younger.

"Come," she beckons a laughing Bo as the snow keeps falling on her uncovered hair, "come taste snow with me!"

Bo doesn't even hesitate for a moment before rushing over.

...

They decorate their tree on the twenty second and Bo lets Lauren put up the star.

"Since you love it so much."

It's a horrible tree.

The decorations look cheap and they're not nearly enough.

The tree is too small and now that Lauren looks at it well, it doesn't even remotely resemble a Christmas tree.

" _Our _Christmas tree. Isn't it amazing?"

Bo whispers in awe.

Lauren wholly agrees.

...

They drink more wine than is good for them on Christmas day and they stuff themselves sick with brownies.

When it's time for exchanging gifts, Bo gives Lauren a bracelet that Lauren has never seen her wear.

"It has been with me for as long as I can remember."

She tells Lauren as she puts it on her.

"It's my good luck charm. But I don't need it anymore. I have something better." She looks Lauren right in the eyes as she says this and the blond feels herself blushing.

"Uh," she pulls the book from where she had hidden it, "here. I know it's not much¬"

Bo's eyes go wide, "Lauren that's your favorite book. Your _only_ book!"

"It's yours now. I know how much you like it."

Bo opens the first page and her eyes become glassy when she sees what's written there;

_For my best friend, Isabel Anne Dennis._

V

Lauren is the one who makes a suggestion for what they'll do at new years.

"Fire works."

She tells Bo.

"Fire works?"

The brunette asks with a grin.

Lauren nods.

"We'll set them off and watch as they light the night sky. It'll be beautiful."

Bo nods"of course it will." She seems to be talking of something else entirely.

...

When Bo leaves to go get the fire works, Lauren looks around for blankets.

They're going to be standing out in the cold for a while and though Bo is well now, her immunity doesn't need another blow after what it recently went through.

She finds one blanket in her room and hopes she'll find another in Bo's.

She searches for a few minutes and is just about to give up when she finds it.

Hidden inside a box in a corner.

She's so angry at it for hiding from her for so long while at the same time knowing that her anger is silly, it's a blanket for Pete's sake.

Still, she pulls it hard and carelessly out of the box and not only does it come flying out, tens of pictures come flying with it.

...

She immediately kneels to pick them, cursing her stupid anger when her eyes land on the face in the pictures and suddenly, she freezes.

Her whole body feels numb, except for her stomach which just feels sick.

Just like that night.

Memories of that night flash in her mind.

Gunshots ring in her ears.

His face flashes through her eyes over and over and over again.

The man who Bo shot, the police officer, he's the same man.

She'd recognize his face anytime.

He plagues her nightmares too often for her to ever forget.

Why does Bo have tens of pictures of him?

Alive.

Walking in and out of a supermarket.

A grocery store.

A massage pa lour.

It's like she'd been stalking him, for a really long time.

She is going to be sick.

Seriously.

...

Bo walks into the house and starts calling Lauren's name excitedly all the way from the door.

"Hey I¬" she stops at her bedroom door, sees the pictures and goes pale.

"Fuck." she mumbles under her breath.

Lauren raises her brown eyes at the brunette,Bo takes a tentative step forward, "I swear to God Lauren, I can explain."


	3. Chapter 3

_I know I said this will be three chapters at most but it looks like they'll be five,**sorry.**_

_So, I read through this and honestly, on a scale of pure shit to kinda okay, I think it rates pretty decently.  
><em>

_But that's just me._

_Enjoy, I hope._

* * *

><p>Bo is saying something.<p>

She can see her lips moving and her hands are making frantic gestures and her eyes look a little desperate; so yes, she's sure Bo is saying something,

But she just can't bring herself to hear.

Honestly at this moment, she's finding it hard to even breathe.

Air.

That's what she needs, air.

And lot's of it.

"I-"she feels herself standing up, her legs so shaky it's even a wonder they're supporting her, "I need-"

She shuts her eyes.

They're gun shots ringing in her ears and there's the sight of her and Bo carrying a dead body the boot of Bo's car and there's the powerful smell of death all around her.

She feels dizzy and fuck it she cannot breathe!

"Lauren," Bo walks towards her, sounding and looking concerned, "Lauren you need to brea-" her head goes to steady the blond who looks two seconds away from falling down.

Lauren jerks back as if burnt, "Don't touch me!"

Oh God, now she _really _can't breathe.

Seriously.

Fuck it, a panic attack is the last bloody thing she needs right now.

"Lauren please just," there's tears pooling in Bo's eyes now, "please hear me out."

She shakes her head.

She can't handle this right now.

She just can't.

…

As soon as her feet are out of the door, she runs.

She doesn't know where she's running to, she doesn't even care.

She just runs.

She runs until her feet just can't take it anymore and her brain recalls that she cannot fucking breathe; then she breaks down.

She's panting and tears are streaming down her face and her heart beat is so loud she can hear it.

God, she's never felt so bloody _stupid._

All this time, all this while, Bo has just been lying to her.

And what did she do? Bear her heart out, tell the woman things she's never told anyone, _trusted_ her.

Stupid, stupid, stupid!

"Shit!"

She palms her face, sobs racking her body now.

She doesn't try stopping them, she doesn't want to.

She needs this.

Finally, after all these months, she's letting everything get to her.

She's letting herself feel the impact of it all and frankly, it fucking sucks.

…

A minute, ten, an hour?

She doesn't really know.

All she does know is that a certain amount of time passes and the sobs stop, the feelings too.

She's back to feeling numb now.

And lost.

All that's running through her mind now is that she has to leave.

She doesn't know how, or to where, but she knows she has to.

With that that thought in mind, she gets up.

…

When she gets back to the cabin, she finds Bo in her room, rapidly throwing clothes into a bag.

She frowns, "what do you think you're doing?"

Bo's neck snaps to her and the sigh of relief she lets out is more than visible.

She looks ready to say something but the cold, lost look in Lauren's eyes must have made her change her mind because she turns back to her frantic parking, now a little less frantic.

"We need to leave."

"What?"

She zips the bag up and sighs, "I'd gone looking for you; I thought you'd gone down the road or something and, it was on the radio. The police dug up a body, they've already identified him as Sean Cooper."

"Sean Copper," Lauren lets the name and the information sink in, "was that his name?"

Bo just nods.

"I- I know I'm the last person you want to hear this from but…I need you to trust me, Lauren. We have to leave."

II

They're leaving.

People are welcoming the New Year and fireworks are going off all around them and Lauren is saying goodbye to what has been her life for the past nine months.

She thinks she'll miss the cabin, and her garden.

She'll miss the early mornings with Bo and she'll miss their reading sessions.

She'll miss how things used to be and she wishes, with everything that she is that she had never found those darned photos.

…

Somewhere along the way she falls asleep.

She doesn't know how because it's uncomfortable as all actual shits in the car but she is thankful for it, a little rest will do her well.

They have not said a word to each other since Bo explained to Lauren why they have to leave.

Once or twice the blond has seen Bo look at her with the look of someone who has something to say, but then she seems to think about it and doesn't.

And Lauren is grateful for that if not for anything else, she doesn't know what she'd say if anyone asked her anything at the moment.

Much less if that someone is Bo.

There's too much and too little running through her mind and it's confusing and nauseating and yeah, she needs to hurl.

"Stop the car."

"What do you-"

"Just-"she takes a deep breath to keep from yelling, "stop the car. Please."

Bo sighs and pulls over.

…

Bo starts looking at her oddly and a little too much after she gets back from doing her business.

She tries to put up with it, mostly because she isn't ready to talk to the brunette just yet unless she really has to.

But then it becomes too much, "what, Bo."

The brunette bites her lip and the blond has to look away.

She doesn't need Bo looking cute right now, she just doesn't.

"Are you okay?"

"Yes, Bo. I'm just peachy."

She says as she watches trees passing by.

Funny, she doesn't even know where they're going.

Once again, she's placing her entire life in Bo's hands, no questions asked.

It's like the woman has some sort of power over her that makes all that once bitten twice shy shit inapplicable.

"Will you," Bo sounds small; "will you please just let me explain."

"No."

…

They stop at some run down motel after hours of silent, tension filled driving.

Bo looks tired and troubled and a whole lot like the person Lauren met that night many months ago.

For some reason, that makes her feel a little guilty.

"Are you hungry?"

Bo asks, walking next to her.

She wants to ignore her.

Darn it she wants to ignore her but the brunette manages to make the question sound so desperate, like she'd do anything just to have the blond talk to her and Lauren finds that she can't ignore her.

She's blaming it on the exhaustion,"I could eat."

She says casually.

Bo smiles then notices what she's doing and clears her throat, "yeah, I could do that too. Eat, I mean."

Lauren bites her lip to keep her smile away.

III

Sam.

That's the name of the name sitting behind the desk, reading a paper.

If he was an animal, Lauren thinks he'd most probably be a weasel.

He has tiny eyes and that look that makes you disbelieve him even before he says a word.

It takes him half an hour and too much conversation for him to get them a room.

And really, it's not worth all time he wasted.

It's tiny and the sheets look so dirty Lauren has to stop herself from rushing over and cleaning them there and then.

"I'm sorry it's not much."

Lauren rolls her eyes and walks in, "it's not your fault, Bo. You don't have to apologize."

The brunette nods then gives Lauren pleading eyes.

The blond knows what she's asking for and she knows she's risking sounding like a broken record, but she's still not ready for that conversation.

"We should settle in and go eat." She says.

It's not a suggestion.

…

At least the dinner is better than the motel.

It looks homely and clean and against her better judgment, Lauren orders fries, a burger, and because she's feeling bloody reckless, a cola to go with it.

Bo looks at her with a raised brow, probably remembering once when Lauren told her she doesn't like junk food.

The blond ignores her though.

She needs to be careless right now.

If she can be careless with be with her life then she might as well do the same with her health.

…

"Okay."

She says when they're back in the motel and ready for bed.

It's not that she is ready to hear Bo's reason for lying to her for all this time, but she wants to hear it.

Ready or not.

"I," Bo scratches the back of her neck, "now?"

Lauren sits on the bed and nods, "no time like the present, right."

She tries sounding firm and confident but she is trembling and completely freaking out inside.

She's been putting this off the whole night and now it's going to happen, she's going to hear Bo's reason for lying to her and honestly, it's daunting.

"Yeah- yeah," Bo nods frantically then stops and clears her throat.

She's doing that a whole freaking lot today.

"I- I um, I don't know where to start," she chuckles self depreciatingly.

"The beginning will do just fine."

"Beginning. Right. So uh, I don't think I've ever told you about my mom?"

It sounds like a question but Lauren can clearly see it isn't so she doesn't answer.

"She uh, "Bo goes on, her voice trembling, "she was a stripper. I don't know how long she did it, but when I found out I was thirteen and I got so embarrassed I demanded she stop immediately. But she couldn't. It was a well paying job and we needed the money, plus it was just dancing so-"she shrugs, "anyway, one day she came home with over a thousand dollars. When I asked her where she'd got all that money, she said she'd landed a special customer and I shouldn't worry about it. She said that it was the opportunity that was going to change our lives."

There's tears streaming down her face by this time and Lauren doesn't even care that she needs explanations; she just wants to make it better for the brunette.

Clearly, this is really hard for the brunette and Lauren doesn't want to be the one to put Bo through all of it.

"Bo," she stands up, "you don't have to do this."

"I want to. You- you deserve to know and I want to tell you. Please, let me."

She wants to ask if she's sure but she looks pretty darn sure so she moves back and lets her continue.

"It was okay, for a few months. She'd come home with grocery bags full of shopping and suddenly I had everything I needed for school, she was even saving for our future. Life was perfect. Until it wasn't. She came home one day all freaked out and agitated. I asked her what was wrong and she said someone was bothering her at work but I shouldn't worry about it. The next day she came home with a black eye and I- I didn't want any more explanations. I wanted answers. She told me there was a man, Sean Cooper, that he was the one she had been exclusively dancing for but he now wanted more than she was willing to give. I was freaked out, I told her to quit. She had saved enough for us to move and it wasn't like there was anyone who would miss us. She said she would do it the next day." She takes in a huge breath, as if preparing herself for something big, "She didn't come back the next day. She died, the police said she had fallen and hit herself on the table but I know better. There were scratch marks on her neck and her eye was badly bruised. Someone had killed her and they just let it go because she was a stripper."

"So you avenged her."

"I had to. She was my mother, she was all I had and no one was going to do anything about it. It took me time and a whole fucking lot of money in film and fuel to follow him around and learn all I needed about him, but finally I did."

"Then you killed him."

"I followed him, as I always did. I wasn't planning on killing him that night. But then I saw what he was going to do to you and in my mind you might have as well been my mother and I just couldn't stop. I didn't mean to involve you, Lauren. It's just that from the moment I met you, I have had this inexplicable need to protect you. From Cooper, from the police and I know this will sound like an excuse but even not telling you was because I wanted to protect you from all this pain."

"You can't protect me from everything, Bo."

"I don't care," the brunette shakes her head, her stubborn nature showing, "I'd rather die trying than have anything hurt you."

"But you're hurting me now!" The blond yells, frustrations finally seeping out, "I would have understood, Bo. You should have told me because you should have trusted that I would have understood. And the fact that you didn't- that hurts me."

"Lauren-"

"No, Bo. You don't get it. Everything about my life is fake these days" She chuckles, "even the name on my birth certificate is fake. And, you're the only real thing I had."

"I still am."

The brunette says desperately.

"You're not though." She says sadly. "I thought we were in this together, that we were both lost and had found a way in each other but we aren't. We aren't and I don't even know what to do anymore."

"What." Bo takes a step forward, "what are you trying to say, Lauren. "

"I don't know," she shrugs sadly; "I don't know anything anymore."

IV

The drive the next day is silent and although not tense, it isn't comfortable either.

Bo seems to be reluctantly giving the blond space and Lauren is eternally thankful for it.

Bo isn't one to let things be, Lauren knows that.

The fact that the brunette is giving her the space she needs is a really big deal.

She wants to tell her thank you, she also wants to say something to show Bo how sorry she is for what she went through, but she doesn't know how yet,

So she doesn't say anything.

…

"Where are we going?"

She finally asks.

It's not that she really needs to know, but it has been hours and they haven't said a thing to each other and after yesterday nights talk, she doesn't want Bo being alone in her head too much.

It isn't good for her at the moment.

"We need to get rid of the car then figure out what to do after that."

She nods, it's an okay plan.

Better than anything she would have come up with.

"Are we," she bites her lip, "are we going to get food after?"

Bo, for some reason, laughs at that.

And Lauren knows they still have so much to talk about.

She isn't angry at Bo anymore, she has no right to be, but she is still angry at being lied at and used and it's going to take a while to get over it.

But the thing is, she does want to get over it.

She wants things to be better between them.

…

They finally stop at some shabby looking garage and Bo promises that they're going to have lunch immediately after they sell the car and come up with a plan.

"I'm going to do all the talking," Bo tells Lauren, "okay?"

"Okay." Lauren nods then nearly falls as someone bumps into her carrying a box.

"Look where you're going, idiot." He snarls angrily, standing up.

"You look where you're going, moron. You could have fucking hurt her." Bo yells poking his shoulder.

"Bo," Lauren tries grabbing her arm.

"In fact," Bo ignores her and gets in the man's face, "you should apologize to her."

"What?" He scoffs out..

"Nothing," Lauren grabs Bo's hand and they head straight back to the car.

…

"What the hell, Bo!"

She yells once they're back inside.

"He could have hurt you." The brunette is fuming.

"But he didn't." Lauren runs her fingers through her blond hair, "God Bo, he was twice you're size."

"I don't care. How many times do I have to tell you, Lauren? I don't care if it's the freaking president of the world; I'm not going to let _anyone _hurt you."

"God! Why are you so stu-"she doesn't get to finish her sentence because suddenly, Bo's lips are on her, kissing her like there's no tomorrow.


End file.
